Stains
by Monsoon
Summary: ...all that killing, fighting, tragedy, it’s bound to affect you, it’s gonna leave a mark, a stain. And no matter how hard you try, that stain isn’t gonna go away."


Stains  
  
A one shot fic about a terrible nightmare which Neo has.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't want to. Ok that's a lie.  
  
This takes place whenever you want after the first movie. See aren't I kind.  
  
Neo carefully entered the dingy cabin he shared with Trinity in silence. He watched Trinity's chest rise and fall as she slept in a fine state of peace. People called her the personified flame, enchanting to look at, dangerous to touch. Neo liked to think that he acted as some sort of cooling substance. Gently putting out the flame which burned so fiercely inside of her. The sleeping quarters had a metallic edge to it, as did the whole ship. It was difficult to relax into, and often you would start to become oblivious of that 'edge' until it would poke and prod at you, lifting you from your precious slumber.  
  
Neo climbed into the bed and Trinity instinctively curled next to him. As the 'edge' started to back off Neo for a bit, he began to fall asleep, until he was completely zonked out, and his mind was opening it's gates for a terrible nightmare to come forth.  
  
It was an awful night, within the Matrix. Raindrops were racing each other down to the bottom of Neo's trench coat, each trying desperately to become first. The nights visuals , dark sunglasses, and heavy rivers of bad weather were making it all the more difficult to see the enchanting hell, the seductive prison, the Matrix. Thunder roared with a great sense of power, and the lightening responded in synchrony with it's beloved friend. The sky-sent duo sending sparks onto the dream world which homed so many unaware prisoners, innocent prisoners.  
  
On nights like these it was difficult for a feeble mind to comprehend the unreality of Neo's surroundings. Everything was so in time, in balance. Suffice to say, this, in probability made the Matrix seem unnaturally perfect. An unnatural equilibrium between the many wonders which formed, the Matrix.  
  
As Neo walked down the asphalt road, his Dr. Martin like boots made a steady rhythm corresponding with the orchestra in the sky. The rampaging rain, the clapping of hard thunder, the sharp buzz of lightening, it was all background music for the upright and inform strides which Neo was embarking upon.  
  
Neo reached the middle of the alley and stood there purposefully. The familiar grinding of rocks and stones underneath office boots were heard and Neo braced himself for the mystery guests to sign in. He was not afraid, if it was fair to say, he was totally unafraid.  
  
Too many times had he kicked agent Smith and his but-kissing weasels into oblivion. Too many times had he watched them fall at his mighty fist against their programmed selves. Too many times had he deleted them from the program altogether, and watch the green silk form, only to dissolve into the jade webs and become masked by, hidden by, homed by the dream world.  
  
Usually, Agent Smith had a quip soaked in dry wit which you could tell, he was just itching to present. However Neo's nightmare left out this part and got straight into the battle. Smith forwarded straight at Neo, and started throwing clumsy punches which were all blocked by Neo's rigid arm. Smith's moves were too predictable to create an essence of shock to Neo's aura, the moves which the One used were so clever, the fierce battle would seem like a deadly dance to the untrained eye. The brutal ballet continued to avenge the destruction of the program Smith.  
  
The familiar ringing of a transportation payphone was heard, and Neo turned around, proceeding the advance towards it. Then, suddenly, his swift turn of one hundred and eighty degrees was brought to a halt as he looked upon a man whom he recognised.  
  
The mans face looked menacing, as if he was always planning something evil, and deceitful. He had a goatee style beard and moustache, which matched the colour of his grubby puffs of hair. It was the colour of instant hot chocolate, a disgusting murky brown with bits of darker and lighter tones amongst the mess. He had a grin laid upon his expression, which allowed his yellow, jagged teeth to be shown. There was no question, even though the result to the equation seemed almost impossible. Well, not almost impossible, impossible. Neo was staring at a dead man, he was staring in to the eyes of a classic, new-age Judas Isscariot. Cypher.  
  
The word was no more said than it was spat. Convenient, it seemed, due to his displays of treachery, his name did not deserve to be said, it indeed deserved to be spat. Neo didn't know when he got there, he didn't know why and he didn't know how. However, he didn't hesitate to put into practice what you would to any evil man who was presumed dead. Neo started to attack.  
  
Neo kept on fighting, and fighting, but he suddenly didn't find the need to. Cypher was fighting back with all of his might, and strength, yet it was as if a toddler was trying to hold him back. His teeth were clenched in frustration, mimicking the action of his fists, which were turning his knuckles white. This was just so easy. Too easy, it seemed. Neo wasn't complaining, just pondering, wondering, it was almost as if Cypher had been put there to die. Cypher was dead in an instant, and the phone, still ringing was piercing Neo's ears.  
  
This nightmare was turning out to be more like a dream. He killed his ultimate rival, his arch nemesis, and he also killed a betrayer. An evil man, and it was the easiest thing he had ever done. There was not one bruise on Neo's body, not one scraping or scratch, not one millilitre of blood was shed. He was fine, healthy, clean.  
  
Neo was a little confused, but the sense of pride took him over. He was the man! He had just killed a man who had a lot more experience in the Matrix than he did. And with ease he would like to mention. So, as if that whole interlude with Cypher never happened, he once again heard the familiar ringing of the transportation payphone and continued his advance towards it.  
  
Then, as if out of nothing but the air, four beings appeared in front of him, and made him stop dead in his tracks. Each had a soft smile placed neatly on their faces. Two of them in the traditional resistance fighter clad black leather, one in a white pantsuit, and the other in a sweater, and black pants. They looked no different from the last time he had seen them. Excepting the fact that the last time he had seen them, a traitor was planning to kill them, the very traitor who he had killed with ease just moments ago. Neo blinked several times over.  
  
He thought that he was seeing things, having visions of dead people. He just stood for a moment and thought about all the recent happenings. Maybe he was seeing dead people. He had heard that Cypher was one of the best fighters of the resistance fighters. Nothing compared to Trinity and Morpheus, but still phenomenal. There was no way that with the non expectancy of his arrival, he could kill him like he did. Therefore, he approached the payphone, using all his self control no to ask Dozer how to fix the broken monitor in the core, not to ask Apoc how Switch was holding up and winking at him boyishly, not to tease Mouse about his erotic training simulations. Then. a sudden rush.  
  
He suddenly felt the need to pull out his knife. A sensation, a flash, the idea of rebelling. It was new, exciting, but he would never do anything to hurt those four people who were looking at him, hell he didn't even know if they were real! However as his mind weighed up the idea of putting his knife back in it's place, or using it, the second idea seemed a lot more attractive. They were people who he liked, he had developed a minor friendship and trust with each in a different way. Their moments together short as they were, yet still precious.  
  
It was the moment which comes across each person, with your shoulder spirits. The shoulder angel telling you to do the right thing, and the shoulder devil telling you to do the thing which feels good, because you know it will feel so good, so so good. But why would it feel good? Neo wasn't a bad man, was he?  
  
The rush was developing a rapid speed, coursing through his veins, sending thrill jolts along his pasty skin. He began to walk towards the deceased crew of the Neb, only fifteen yards away now. His pace started to pick up until he was doing a sort of speed walk, or light jog, only ten yards away now. All the while the four kind hearted soldiers were just standing, and smiling. He started to run, and draw his knife, the angel was giving it's all, "Don't, why are you doing this? They didn't do anything to you!" However the devil just had a knack for advertising, "Good, good Neo, your doing well, just one swift motion with that knife, and they'll be dead. Who cares about the 'how' or 'why', all that matters is you, you and you alone. Do what makes you feel good."  
  
The weather grew worse, causing the rain to beat with a heavier force. The hard drops of water were stinging the back of Neo's neck. As he looked up to the sky, the thunder and lightening playing their song, the moon, just a silvery sphere in a sea of blacks and blues. The sky was sending it's darkness into Neo's soul and turning him evil. The Matrix was affecting him.  
  
Neo drew his knife and started with Dozer, one entry straight in the heart sent the giant of a man kissing the ground. Upon seeing this the crew's calm expressions were dissolved into a solution of grief. Mouse's juvenile face read to be a look of confusion. His eyebrows were brushing the tops of his young eyes as they furrowed, becoming those few centimetres closer to his pink, open mouth. Switch's pale, bony face read anger. She had her thin lips pursed, and her detailed eyes were remodelled into sharp slits, which cut straight through Neo creating a void. Apoc's kind face read sadness. His large eyes were complimenting Switch's in their great width. Neo looked into his eyes and felt as if he was falling, falling into his eyes. Drowning, in his guilt, and fear.  
  
He was scared, extremely scared, the idea of uncontrolled actions were dangerous. He had once told Morpheus that he had rejected the idea of fate, because the idea of him losing control over his life repulsed him. Scared him. Yet it was happening, and 'bad' Neo had taken over, leaving the regular Neo, just to look on, and beg for it to stop.  
  
Regular Neo was of coarse on the Neb. Innocently asleep, in his stiff cot, with Trinity beside him. He started to blink in his sleep, his eyebrows meeting his eyelids at a regular pace, but missing them and meeting them again. It was a clear sign that someone was having a restless sleep. As the Neo in his nightmare proceeded with the killing of the other three people, Neo drew Trinity closer to him, she had such a calming influence over him. Perhaps her mere essence would soften him, let him gain control again. Dozer, Switch Mouse and Apoc were all dead, because he had killed them with no intention to, and a million intentions not to.  
  
He was suddenly reminded of his times in the Matrix, when he would run down great, green, grassy hills. The sun would be out and he would be fine, he would be in control of his body, until he would start to run quicker. His legs would now be in front of his body, and he wouldn't have power over them, however hard he tried he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He had lost all control.  
  
His nightmare continued and, again, as if out of nowhere, Tank, Link and Zee were present in his vision. He drew his guns and began to shoot. His nightmare evaluated everything in slow motion. He could see the look on Tank's face as the numerous bullets shot through him. Causing him to wince in pure agony. Nothing but pain was written all over his face. And through all this, through all this pain and suffering of his dearest friends, and the factual matter that Neo was causing this pain, a small smile played over Neo's lips. He was enjoying it.  
  
As Neo's nightmare played him to be smiling, and in a state of happiness, in reality, he was feeling the pain of all those people he had killed. He was rolling vigorously and burying his face in his pillow. The nightmare was causing him to shudder every now and then. Every time a bullet entered his friends he would shake violently, knowing that his nightmare-self was causing them to go through such turmoil. However, his nightmare-self was in fact in ecstasy. He had one of those looks when somebody does something they've wanted to do for a long time. Happiness, eagerness, relief.  
  
The next of Neo's unsuspecting victims was Cass. She had arrived with her two children Bull, and Aisla. Dozer had always joked about calling their son Bull, to form a destructive duo of 'Bulldozer' but Cass took a likeness to it and being born at around eleven pounds and giving Cass thirty three stitches, they thought it fitted their little man just fine.  
  
Neo brought out his knife to perform this operation, but it was blunt after all the people it had inflicted pain upon, and the undeserving blood shed. It was almost as if the wrongly poured ruby red liquid burned the knife towards a straight edge. So he had to go with guns, once again.  
  
His weak pistol was skimming Cass's dark skin, until all the veins punctured, and a bullet having actually gone through her, caused her to back down in to the underworld of Neo's nightmare. During the killing of Dozer's wife, his children had been screaming for Neo to stop 'playing around' as they put it. Neo had no time for them, and with two sharp flings, they crashed against the bricked wall of the alley which now homed the lifeless bodies of Cass, Bull, Aisla, Tank, Dozer, Switch, Apoc, Mouse and Cypher.  
  
Their blood on Neo's hand's was a lot for the real Neo on the Neb to handle. The real Neo was now shuddering with a violent sense of motion. It was a glass clear miracle that Trinity had not been pulled out from her slumber. With all the shuddering and shaking which Neo was doing, anybody would have expected her to wake up. However, Neo wasn't actually talking or wailing, just moving around. Both Neo and Trinity did this often, so it was not new to Trinity at all. Therefore, Trinity carried on sleeping and Neo carried on shuddering. For a moment Neo thought that the fires of the little bit of hell on earth that he had just been through had passed, however, the worst was yet to come.  
  
The smile on Neo's nightmare self was growing wider, making a revelation of his pearly whites, as he looked upon all his friends, dead friends, murdered friends. All the friends he had killed. The real Neo was wondering if the situation could get any worse, while the evil Neo starring in his nightmare, was wondering weather the situation could get any better.  
  
The familiar ringing of a transportation payphone was heard, as it was heard before, and once before that. Neo made a swift turn of one hundred and eighty degrees, and suddenly the sight of two people made the Neo on the Neb shudder once again, violently this time. They were two people whom he loved so much, and the respect he had for them, was in high quantities. "Don't, please don't, you don't wanna do this," pleaded the real Neo into his pillow. Alas, the Neo in his nightmare only grew happier at the thought of destroying these two people, and so he drew out his gun, and got ready to fire.  
  
Morpheus' eye's were very glassy, and immensely large. Neo always thought it was because there was just so much wisdom there, so much belief, so much faith. And now, as he looked into those smart eyes, he wanted nothing more than to see them close, and never open again. And next to Morpheus stood Niobe.  
  
A woman whom he had a great deal of respect towards, and whom he thought was an excellent captain. She had proven on many occasions to be a great military leader, pilot and friend. Although she personally didn't believe in the prophecy, and the general belief of the One, she still encouraged Neo in everything he did, said, and had faith in.  
  
Morpheus and Niobe looked at Neo as if they were searching deep into his soul. Not his nightmare formed soul, but his real soul. Neo, lightly asleep on his poor excuse for a bed started to calm down, under the impression that his nightmare wouldn't home the killing of Morpheus and Niobe, by himself. Yet, the nightmare was in preparation for homing this occurrence, and one more. Just one more, that was on it's own, the worst nightmare Neo could have.  
  
So the guns lost bullets within them, and Morpheus and Niobe gained bullets within them. Neo's real self began to shake and shudder more violently now. He had lost a hold on Trinity so she was still asleep, but it was obvious that she would wake up soon.  
  
Neo was rocking himself back and forth. He desperately wanted to wake up, he wanted to get out of this nightmare, he wanted to escape, but his nightmare wasn't letting him. The 'bad' Neo wasn't letting him. The gates were locked between the state of awareness, and sleep, and nightmares. And all Neo could do was physically shake himself, and shudder and rock himself, until he would wake up because of tired muscles. His mind was pleading. "Please, no more, no more deaths, end it, end it now," but his nightmare had other plans. Twisted plans.  
  
The familiar ringing of the transportation payphone was heard, so he made a swift turn of one hundred and eighty degrees, proceeding the advance towards it. Just as he had done before, and before that, and before that again. The next victim arrived. The real Neo asleep on the Neb began not to shudder, or shake but literally to twitch so hard, it looked as if he was having some sort of fit. The Neo in his nightmares was staring at his next victim, she was further away than the others, about thirty feet away. The others had arrived a lot closer. This wasn't going to happen, even bad Neo couldn't kill this person, he had too much love for her. The Neo on the Neb was again talking into his pillow, "No, no, no, no, this isn't happening." Shoulder length ebony hair glistened when the reflection of the lightening brushed it. Neo was looking into those eyes as blue as a sapphire crystals. She was looking at him as if she was about to explode with love, he knew she loved him so much, and he loved her so much. They began to run to each other in slow motion, just like you see in those cheesy movies. The Neo on the Neb calmed down it was ok, it was over.  
  
They both grabbed each other, pouring out their love in the tips of their fingers, and they kissed. They kissed deeply, passionately. Neo's hand circled the back of Trinity's neck, running from the top of her raven black hair to the bottom. Then when his hand reached the bottom of her hair, he yanked her head backwards. "No!" cried the real Neo, almost suffocating himself in his pillow. He would rather be dead than see himself kill the person whom he loved so much, so much that when he thought about her, she would brighten every day, chase away all fog, and melt all sadness.  
  
They were looking into each others eyes. The chocolate sending it's pieces to sink in the round pools of lush water. Trinity looked hurt, Neo was hurting her, she looked confused, this wasn't the Neo she knew. Neo was grinning widely, he seemed determined.determined to do something. He pushed her back with such force that she hit the wall, and sent the bricks into pieces, scattering a display of grey rain. Neo brought out his gun and pointed it at her, he set the trigger into firing position, and pulled it. No sound, nothing. He was out of bullets. He brought out his knife, blunt. It hadn't grown a tip since it was blunt before. His head tipped slightly to the side to look at her. She was slouched on the wall, looking so bewildered and fearful. He grabbed her throat, and once again looked into her eyes. "Neo, what are you, doing?" Trinity asked, she was choking, Neo was choking her. He didn't answer her question. He just lifted her up so she was in the air. He knocked three blows into her chest, and watched her puke up blood, and he was loving it, loving it, loving it. She still had an ounce of life left in her, a bit of water left in the glass, so he took her and strangled the life out of her, poured out the water. He stood and the smile which he had been wearing through the whole ordeal grew wider, and wider, and wider. A sensation in his heart, rushing out of his mouth to form laughter. Manic, radical, crazy laughter. And the familiar ringing of the transportation payphone was heard. Neo made a swift turn of one hundred and eighty degrees, proceeding the advance towards it. He walked, while the laughter grew louder, and the rain started beating more violently, and the lightening buzzed brighter, and the thunder clapped harsher. Neo put the phone to his ear and left.  
  
"Noooooooo!" cried Neo, his head now lifted from his pillow. Was it a night nightmare? Oh please let it have been a nightmare! His body ached with an immense pain, and his head was pounding harder than any bass drum would ever be pounded upon. His temples were sending little jolts of hell to all his muscles causing him to fall back onto that pillow which softened the head that just thought up the worst it ever should, could and would.  
  
"Neo, what, what is it? Neo!" Trinity had obviously awoken, and was trying to calm Neo down, but he was hysterical. She was looking around the cabin, had something fallen on him? Then she looked at his face, the same book had been written about her face. He had been having a nightmare, his worst nightmare.  
  
"I can't, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." He was begging for forgiveness, his head on Trinity's chest. The same Neo which could perform digital miracles was now resting his face on his girlfriends body, as she kissed the top of his forehead, sending her own sweetness in to his mind, making him feel that little bit better.  
  
"Neo, what happened?" asked Trinity, her voice damp with concern. And so Neo explained the nightmare to Trinity, using all detail, and Trinity listened with content, compassion and sympathy.  
  
"Neo, It's ok, all that killing, fighting, tragedy, it's bound to affect you, it's gonna leave a mark, a stain. And no matter how hard you try, that stain isn't gonna go away, but that's not what's gonna tell you who you are. What tells you who you are is what you choose to do with that stain. You can keep looking at it, reminding yourself it's there, or you can ignore it, and pretend it's not there. There will be times when you'll see it, and all the memories will come flooding back, and when it does, you tell me and I'll tell you all this crap again." Neo and Trinity both laughed lightly, and Trinity held Neo's hands, like he was a small child.  
  
"Trinity, where did you learn to get so smart?" asked Neo, a hint of flattery in his voice. His fingers were caressing Trinity's cheeks with one hand, and his other still laced with hers, what would he do without her?  
  
"Life experience," answered Trinity, a hint of pride in her voice. So many people had praised her, but when Neo did it, it was different, she really enjoyed making him proud. No one else mattered.  
  
"So when I've been here as long as you, I'll be as smart as you?" questioned Neo, still never letting go of Trinity's hands. It was a if she was some sort of safety net, when she was there, nothing could go wrong. Nothing  
  
"Yeah, except, I'll be smarter." They both laughed again, and for a brief moment, they had no stains, they were just a regular couple up in the night, talking. Clean as a whistle.  
  
So, that was it! Please read and review, but no flames! Because I'm only 13, and 13 year olds are extremely flammable. So for your own safety, please don't flame. Ok, you squeezed it out of me, It makes me sad. 


End file.
